Written By: Sacha Baron Cohen...
Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen
Year:2006

A strange boy named Candle once found a toy plastic soldier buried in the dirt. He found it while playing with his superhero dolls and trucks:
Hellboy was perched upright in the back of a tonka truck, driving it down an impossibly steep, two foot high cliff. At the bottom, Spiderman was waiting in striking position. Just as Hellboy approached a good range for a loud taunt, the yellow truck’s mudguard kicked over a clump of dirt from the side of the cliff revealing a little blue helmet, although Candle could not recognise it what it was with so little showing.
The final battle to decide mankind’s fate was postponed in light of new discoveries. Candle dug away at the area around the soldier’s unidentified head. Clusters of dirt tumbled down the hill, picking up speed as they rolled and bounced along. Spiderman stood unable to move as the huge boulders raced at him. The first few he escaped unscathed but was soon knocked off his feet into a cloud of dust.
The soldier, whose name was Lt Raymond DeCarlo, revealed himself body part by body part to Candle, who recognised his military status when the tip of his rifle poked through.
"A soldier," Candle whispered to himself with a tone of respect.
When enough dirt had been cleared, Candle grabbed Raymond by the torso and yanked him out. Candle sat up on his knees and held the soldier near his face to inspect the unkempt Lieutenant. DeCarlo’s uniform was filthy – dirt stuck between the creases – and his boots couldn’t be further from polished. However Lt. DeCarlo’s weathered face told that he had been through difficult times.
Candle suspected that his best friends had all fallen in battle, and that his family probably assumed the same fate for him. An incongruence in his eyes showed that deep down, underneath the layers of tough training, he didn’t like the things he had done.
Candle sat back down and gazed at a passing cloud which floated just above a leafy horizon. The cloud reminded him of his old cat, Dixie, who had disappeared a few years ago and had never been found.
He looked down at his toys and put the plastic figurines in the back of the truck; the final battle to decide mankind’s fate had already been fought, and human nature had ensured that the fate was ill.
At the Troubadour
16th Aug 2007



